Thursday , 28 May 2015
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My Christian Marriage Crisis

I’ve been keeping something bottled up for months now, but I can’t any longer. I need to share about my Christian marriage crisis:

(If you can’t see the video, watch on YouTube)

Yes, even Christian marriages are under attack today. No relationship is easy and certainly no marriage is immune, but I believe too many of us try to put on a front that ‘we’re ok’, when in actuality, we’re dying on the inside.

I can’t tell you how many times I have started and stopped what I just confessed.

For those of you who do life with me on a regular basis, you may have noticed me being a little “off” the past two Months.

For the rest of you who simply know the pieces of my life that I share online, you’ll most likely recall that I have been suffering from panic attacks and some other things recently.

I have always prided myself on my transparency, which is what has made these past four months that much harder. As a blogger, my life is my work and my work is often my life. Ultimately, I try to be transparent with what I’m experiencing in hope that it will encourage those of you who may be going through something similar.

However, over these past months, I have walked a journey I never in my life would imagine I would walk.

There are two reasons I have not been more vocal up until now:
1.I have been needing to experience healing on my own.
There has been so much to process and as a wife and mother, I have had to simply pull up my bootstraps and live my life the best I knew how. That hasn’t afforded me the luxury to process what I’ve been going through with you.

2.It is not solely my story to tell.
Because it involves others, I have not felt it to be my right to share all the details of what has been going on since February. My hope is that as I continue to heal and process, I (or better yet, my husband) will be able to share his experiences with you, and one day reveal the full story so that hopefully it will prevent others from experiencing the hurt we are going through right now.

But today is not that day.

There are also some very important lessons I’ve learned and been reminded of in all this:
1. God is faithful
2. The Holy Spirit is real
3. It’s important to ask for help when you need it
And most importantly of all…
My friend Trisha told me from Day 1 that “Your story is your story, no one shares it and no one can tell you what to do with it.”

I don’t yet know what our story holds, but I do love and believe in a God who does. Thank you for your prayers for restoration and reconciliation during this difficult time in our lives.

19 comments

  1. Sweet friend. You know I’m here and praying. Thankful for you two and you know we’re here if ya’ll need anything ever, even if it’s just to talk. XOXO

  2. Thank you for sharing what is on your heart. I know that couldn’t have been easy. My husband and I experienced a serious marriage crisis in the last year and a half. In the beginning I was like you, unsure if I wanted to even be married but decided I would focus on God and his leading. I also experienced a horrible time with anxiety and panic attacks about 4-5 months after everything came to the surface. It was without a doubt one of the most difficult seasons of my life but I am thankful for the work God has done in our lives through it all. Please know that I am praying for you, your husband, your marriage and your family.

  3. SandraLucas Horton

    I don’t know your story, Sami, but obviously you’re hurting! Praying that God will bring restoration and healing to your family! Our family (not Joe and I) are going through some difficult marriage issues also, but God is good and He can restore if we are willing to do what it takes to bring restoration! Praying for you all! Much love!!

  4. Thank you my sister – love you back :)

  5. I appreciate that, Meghan! I haven’t felt like talking much about it, but it’s nice knowing I have people that genuinely care about me and my marriage that are available if and when I need them 😉

  6. Thank YOU for sharing that Janet. It certainly isn’t easy to live through or share, but I don’t want the enemy to have a foothold in my silence any longer! I appreciate your continued prayers.

  7. We love and appreciate you, Sandy.

  8. Brigitta Theleman

    Sami, I’m in awe of your bravery in sharing yourself so honestly during this crisis in your life and am sending prayers and support to you and your family during this time. Your willingness to be vulnerable has surely provided comfort to many others in similar circumstances who have felt alone and in despair from carrying a heavy and silent burden. May you continue to find strength to persevere and not give energy to those who criticize or judge. I’ve witnessed how much you can accomplish and know you will get through this.

  9. Praying for you all <3 May you all feel God's arms and love more than ever right now,

  10. Praying Sami :/

  11. Sami,

    I know this had to be hard for you, but thank you for sharing. My Christian marriage too is in crisis. Sometimes as Christians we feel that when we go through something like this that we are the only ones. As hard as it is, I take some “comfort” for lack of a better word, knowing that there are others that are experiencing similar situations. I will pray for you and hope that if you think about it, you will pray for me as well. My prayer is 100% a prayer of restoration and I truly believe that is a possibility. “Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible”

  12. Jennifer, I’m so sorry to hear about that. I know ‘comfort’ is not what you mean exactly, but that unknown sentiment is exactly why I posted this in the first place. I will be praying for you too!

  13. Thank you Molly! Very much appreciated xoxo

  14. I truly appreciate you taking the time to say this, Brigitta…I don’t know if it’s brave…it’s all I know how to do right now. I know we can triumph as well, I also just know how difficult the journey can and will be and want to give a voice to others who may be persevering as well that you can live an authentic life, instead of a double life – presenting one way in public and another in private. Grateful for you!