I’ve been keeping something bottled up for months now, but I can’t any longer. I need to share about my Christian marriage crisis:
(If you can’t see the video, watch on YouTube)
Yes, even Christian marriages are under attack today. No relationship is easy and certainly no marriage is immune, but I believe too many of us try to put on a front that ‘we’re ok’, when in actuality, we’re dying on the inside.
I can’t tell you how many times I have started and stopped what I just confessed.
For those of you who do life with me on a regular basis, you may have noticed me being a little “off” the past two Months.
For the rest of you who simply know the pieces of my life that I share online, you’ll most likely recall that I have been suffering from panic attacks and some other things recently.
I have always prided myself on my transparency, which is what has made these past four months that much harder. As a blogger, my life is my work and my work is often my life. Ultimately, I try to be transparent with what I’m experiencing in hope that it will encourage those of you who may be going through something similar.
However, over these past months, I have walked a journey I never in my life would imagine I would walk.
There are two reasons I have not been more vocal up until now:
1.I have been needing to experience healing on my own.
There has been so much to process and as a wife and mother, I have had to simply pull up my bootstraps and live my life the best I knew how. That hasn’t afforded me the luxury to process what I’ve been going through with you.
2.It is not solely my story to tell.
Because it involves others, I have not felt it to be my right to share all the details of what has been going on since February. My hope is that as I continue to heal and process, I (or better yet, my husband) will be able to share his experiences with you, and one day reveal the full story so that hopefully it will prevent others from experiencing the hurt we are going through right now.
But today is not that day.
There are also some very important lessons I’ve learned and been reminded of in all this:
1. God is faithful
2. The Holy Spirit is real
3. It’s important to ask for help when you need it
And most importantly of all…
My friend Trisha told me from Day 1 that “Your story is your story, no one shares it and no one can tell you what to do with it.”
I don’t yet know what our story holds, but I do love and believe in a God who does. Thank you for your prayers for restoration and reconciliation during this difficult time in our lives.